Some people tend to use this phrase so loosely. 

Today is May 27, 2012.
It took me five months and four days to finally say “I love you” to him. Not one day, one week, and not even one month. Five months and four days. 

He is the first guy that I actually took this long to use this phrase. I truly meant it when I said it. I was very nervous at first, but I’m happy I told him (: 

I know this is early, especially since my birthday is in December, but my daddy is letting me go on a cruise in December! :D I told him that I’ll pay for it myself. I just wanted his permission to go. I’m so happy! The cruise that I’m going on is going to be 5 nights to western Caribbean. It’s going from Tampa, Florida to George Town, Grand Cayman, to Cozumel, Mexico, back to Tampa, Florida. It’s only $389 and the ship I’m taking is going to be Jewels of the Sea. I’m so excited! “He” might also go with me. Just me and him (:

Today was emotional. My aunt said something that made me upset. I know I’ve gained, and I know I haven’t done anything to change that. My mental self is always optimistic, but actions are what really counts. I told him today that I didn’t want to talk to him. It’s not his fault. I’m just mad at myself. I just have horrible time management. Tonight, we had a conversation about how I need to stop caring about what other people think of me. He likes me for who I am. He even threw out the “if you can’t accept yourself, how am I suppose to accept you”. I’m going to listen to him more. He truly knows what he’s talking about, and I’m disobedient. I’m going to change. Not for him, but for a better me.

All I hear today is “Happy Mother’s Day!” I feel like mother’s should be treated like a queen everyday. I feel like some people use this day as an excuse to treat their mothers’ especially well. My mom, on the other hand, is special to me every day. I asked her what she wanted to do today, where she wanted to go eat, and if she wanted anything from me. She responded with a flat “no, nothing” because she says me being home and helping her around was all she needed. My mom doesn’t need money to make herself happy. Or even a luxury dinner. My mom just needed me right by her. I love my mom so much. I’m sorry I don’t have some money to provide anything really nice, but thank you for always being happy (:

Dear Auntie,
I know you’re spending Mother’s Day alone. You’re daughter, my cousin, is out there somewhere in the world. We know that she is incapable of taking care of herself. I hope that the police can find her asap. I’m sorry. I really hope she is safe and comes home safely. 

I want to work. My friend wants me to work with her because they need people. I ask my father if I can work there, and he responded so quickly with a “no.” Normally, parents tell their kids to get off their lazy asses and find a job. Not for me. I don’t want to be dependent for so long because I feel like my future will end up in dependency. On the other hand, “he” told me that I should work at school. I feel like my dad would be more understanding if I worked at school instead of his old work place. Some things to think about.